51 Funny Quotes About Love That Are Just Too True

Love is a curious thing and there are so many great quotes about love. But these 51 funny quotes about love take on the more light-hearted side of love. Whether you’re in love now or you’ve been in love, these quotes will ring hilariously true.

Funny Quotes About Love from Writers

“An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” Agatha Christie

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words, like ‘What about lunch?'” A.A. Milne

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“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” Jules Renard

“The Venn diagram of boys who don't like smart girls and boys you don't wanna date is a circle.” John Green

“When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness – and call it love – true love” Robert Fulghum

“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” Carroll Bryant


“Love is sharing your popcorn.” Charles Schultz

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“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt” Charles Schultz

“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other's minimum daily requirements.” Kathy Mohnke

"We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." Dr. Seuss

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.” Erma Bombeck

“My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine's Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside – Made in Taiwan!” Leopold Fechtner

“I love you like a fat kid loves cake.” Scott Adams


“When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence to eat onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged.” James Montgomery Bailey

“Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator” Helen Gurley Brown

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“Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it.” Helen Rowland


“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.” Socrates

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“You can't put a price tag on love. But if you could, I'd wait for it to go on sale. Hussein Nishah
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love” Albert Einstein

Funny Quotes About Love from Comedians

“If love is the answer could you rephrase the question” Lily Tomlin

“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments” Chris Rock

“I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Rita Rudner

“Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” Jerry Seinfeld

“My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.” Jack Benny

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“I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth!” Chico Marx

“My wife had us register for fine china, because you never know when the Pope is going to swing by and want a microwaved hot dog on a $200 plate.” Jim Gaffigan

"My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks." Joan Rivers

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“Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” Jerry Seinfeld

“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” Chelsea Handler

“When you're in love, it's the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life” Richard Lewis

“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on X-rays, but you know it's there” George Burns

Funny Quotes About Love from Actors

“What's the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” Cindy Garner

51 funny quotes about love tim allen

“I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.” Woody Allen

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” Joan Crawford

“Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.” Mae West

“If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.” Alan King

“Before you marry a person you should first make them a computer with slow internet to see who they really are” Will Ferrell

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“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” Henny Youngman

Funny Quotes About Love from the Wise and Hilarious

“Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock” Jewish Proverb

51 funny quotes about love anonymous

“Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.” Anonymous

“A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.” Anonymous

“We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack” Anonymous

“The brain is the most amazing organ, it works 24 hours a day 365 days a week from the day you are born until the day you fall in love” Anonymous

“I wish falling in love had a stop light so that I would know if I should go for it, slow down, or just stop” Anonymous

“Love is like bacon it makes everything better” Anonymous

“My husband thinks I’m crazy, but he’s the one who married me” Anonymous


There’s nothing like a good laugh. And sometimes you just have to laugh about love!

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