If you're a Christian with OCD, how you handle the recurring thoughts and behaviors may be different than the rest of the world. But the struggle is the same.
I recently ran across Sarah Clarkson's story as a Christian woman with OCD as she breaks the silence, and what she says is poetic and powerful.
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Obsessive Compulsion Disorder (OCD) is a chronic disorder where the person has uncontrollable obsessions or compulsions that can disrupt their daily lives.
Sarah said, "To be a Christian and a person who lives with OCD is a defining tension of my life." She adds, "It isn't an injury you can heal or a habit you can change. It is the physical and spiritual condition of my faith. I can only know and love the living God as a person who bears my broken mind."
Testimony From Christian With OCD
Her nightmare began at the tender age of 17. She found herself crushed under the heavy darkness of graphic, violent dreams and intrusive thoughts that would paralyze her. The Christian woman shamefully confessed her terrors to her mother and was eventually diagnosed with OCD.
"At first I felt confused; I thought OCD was just being freakish about cleaning. What I discovered was that OCD is a mental illness diagnosed by the presence of intrusive, unwanted, and profoundly disturbing thoughts.' Sarah shared that now, she thinks of OCD as a disease of fear.
"OCD sees disaster in every corner of the ordinary; car accidents and deadly infections, sexual violence, perversion, house fires and death." She continued, "Compulsions are a way to control the evil, rituals that seem to promise relief. If only I can confess my sin one more time, pray a certain prayer, check the breath of my child, examine the locks or clean the floor, I will keep the destruction at bay."
Out Of The Darkness
After living in that dark world for 20 years, she shares a message of how God brought light into her darkness.
"Mental illness can't be erased by spiritual discipline or confession. It isn't an injury you can heal or a habit you can change," she said. But it creates the perfect backdrop to illuminate God's beauty in the brokenness. For those living with mental illness, she perfectly sums up a picture of relying on God to give us strength and hope.
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"I've come to understand that the gospel describes a God who gave up all ease and dignity in order to restore mine; who gave his world-making heart to be broken so that my mind, body, and soul may be made whole," she said.
Sarah now looks for the beauty to combat the evil. God looks upon our brokenness with the tender loving care of our heavenly Father. And the truth Sarah shares is blessedly mind-blowing. "Our frailty is not despised or trampled upon by our creator. It is cradled and healed by a power that heals us from the inside out. It does not zap away our frailties (and us with them) but bears them with us," she said.
Hope for Christian With OCD
God made the world for goodness and created a way to redeem it when sin entered into the world. Yet, God gave himself to this broken world so His light could fill every dark crevice with His divine goodness. Sarah shares how she's discovered God's goodness in the mundane moments of life and how she's become aware of God's tender mercies in the scope of living as a Christian with OCD.
Her story gives hope, light, goodness, and glory to the God who created us. And she gives a voice to the voiceless. Living with a mental illness is a journey of holding God's hand as we journey through life. Just as God hasn't given up on Sarah, He hasn't given up on us. Instead, He's at work revealing His goodness and glory through our weakness and making us whole. It's a story of beauty rising out of brokenness.
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"When someone is hurting or brokenhearted, the Eternal moves in close and revives him in his pain," Psalm 34:18.
WATCH: Christian with OCD Shares Powerful Testimony
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h/t: Premier Christianity
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